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My Hips and Anorexia

I, too, have anorexia. I don't know how or when it started. I was 16 years old when my dad left. He didn't get along with my mum.

One comment at work one day about how my hips were starting to fill out, and that was it. Anorexia was in my life.

It was hard living with anorexia, because my best friend was very demanding. I would see food and she would say, "no, look at your fat hips, your fat bum," then my appetite was lost.

My weight started to drop off. I thought that I looked really good. I suppose for a short time, I did. Before I knew it, I was down to 5 and a half stone, standing in the doctors on the scales.

I had no periods for months, my hair was lifeless and thin. Maybe now, anorexia would leave me alone, but no, she loved it.

They want you to put on weight and she would say, "don't listen." The more trips to the hospital for tests, the more weighing, the happier she would be.

Slowly, I started to eat again. My tummy would hurt because the stretching would be so painful and surely, it would be so simple just not to eat.

Every other day was for weigh in at the doctors. Well done, more pounds gained. Anorexia was not happy. When I looked in the mirror, she would say, "fat belly, fat bum."

I would look but I just wanted my life back. I was fed up being cold, fed up with not going out, my bones hurt, and I was always ill. With the threat, also, of not being able to have children, I had to beat this.

Little by little, I started on the road to recovery and I listened less and less to anorexia. She was a friend that I was needing less and less.

I am now 43 years old, and reading other peoples stories. I just want to give them hope. I have had four lovely children, one grandson, and I am married and very happy.

Anorexia came at a time when I was very unhappy in my life. I suppose food control was just one way I could control my life, and all the hurt in it, but it didn't help.

Be strong and look at what is making you unhappy. Talk it through with somebody and find ways to make it better.

But don't listen to anorexia because starving yourself just makes everything worse and will follow you with years of health problems.

I ended up having a hysterectomy at forty and period problems for 10 years previous. It was no fun at all.

In the end, anorexia was no friend of mine.

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