MamasHealth.com Home I'm Not Healthy A Little Less Lonely Finding Justification How I Dealt With Grief I Deny It I Would Not Eat I'm Not Healthy It Was A Game Love/Hate Relationship My Bulimia Story My Embarrassing Problem My Eyes Opened Never Be The Same On My Journey Promise Myself Resembled A Ten Year Old Stages of Bulimia Tears of Hurt, Who Am I? Unclassified Eating Disorder Waiting for My Angel Why Not! Yes, I Can Relate Links Email Mama Addiction stories Anorexia stories Athletic stories Bulimia stories Eating Disorder Family and friends stories Help Me! Herpes stories I'm not healthy stories Medical disease stories Medications and eating disorders Migraine stories Mother stories Recovered Anorexic Recovered Bulimic Recovered Eating Disorder Self esteem stories The Letter "C" Weight stories Mama's Inspirational quotes Mama's Motivational pledges Mama's Health quotes Mama's Poem	Finding Justification I've known for a few month's now that I am bulimic. Problem is, I'm not ready to stop. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. I am shaped like Marilyn Monroe, I know, and that's something most can be proud of. Not me. Monroe may have been one of the sexiest women of history, but she was a size 14, and American media's come a long way since it accepted that. When I was in my freshman year, I went through a time of extreme depression, and I gained 20 pounds onto an already generous 160 pound body. At 5'6, I was never made to be that big. Last year, I changed schools and became so much happier. I dropped almost all the 20 original pounds and for the longest time, I thought I was doing well. Still, I kept remembering what my doctor told me before I put on the weight, that at 160, I was ten pounds too much. Now, I'm 156 on average. With a scale in my room, I check my weight daily. I also have a calorie counter that doesn't let me take in more than 1000 calories a day, if that. I started purging (never binging, I never saw the point in that) all of my small meals about three months ago. I've been lying to my mom about how much I weigh, so she doesn't get worried about what I'm doing. I wish, I could say, I thought bulimia was a bad thing, but it's half my efforts now, and I'm not willing to give that up. I don't know why I'm writing this here, if it's to find justification or to recognize what's wrong with me. I guess if it helps someone else recognize what's wrong with them, then I've done something right. I admit, I want to stop someday, but I hope that day is a long way off, and at least another five or ten pounds away. Being voluptuous is a nice dream for someone who's not sixteen and scared.	Sign up for our Email Newsletter For Email Marketing you can trust
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