Consequences I am 17 years old and suffering from bulimia. When did it start? I started making myself sick about 2 or 3 months ago. I'm disgusted with myself but I can't help it. Like anyone who goes through this, I said I will just do it once and that will be it. But nothing beats that feeling of stepping on the scales and seeing that I've lost a pound. I know all of the consequences of my actions, and if I'm honest, they terrify me. But like I said, that feeling of losing weight shuts out those consequences from my mind. Although I've only been vomiting for 2 months, I have been suffering emotionally a lot longer. I was always the fat child, or the child that stood out in a crowd. I always felt embarrassed while shopping for clothes with my friends because they were always at least 2 or 3 sizes smaller. I'm 5'7" and weigh 11st 4 which is normal for my height. When I began vomiting I weighed 12st which was 6 pounds over weight for my height. When I began, I laughed at the thought of me becoming addicted to making myself sick, but alas, I have. I started off doing it once a day, but now its after almost everything I eat. I do not binge like most bulimics. Most days, I eat as little as possible and whatever I eat, I try to get rid of mostly by vomiting but sometimes by exercise. The feelings that come alongside the vomiting are the worst part, like looking in the mirror and absolutely HATING what you see, feeling that you're not good enough for any boy, or that any time you're with someone and it ends, it's because of the way you look. I hate the secrecy of it all, hiding what I'm doing from my mother, who I normally tell everything to, and my best friend who knows there is something wrong, but I feel I can't tell her because she will give out to me. I really want to stop what I am doing to myself and I know it's going to be a long hard road. I was thinking of telling one of my teachers, to whom I have a great, trusting relationship, as she has experience with dealing with such things and could give me some advice. I find it very difficult to admit that I am bulimic even though I know I have a serious problem. I don't want to talk to counselors, or get professional help, and that's why I'm scared to tell someone.
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