10 signs you need to go on a dating hiatus
A "hiatus" is a break in something that normally has continuity. TV shows go on hiatus. How do you know when it's time to take a dating hiatus? When you've been dating for a long time and you're no closer to finding Mr./Ms. Right than when you started. You date a succession of people and they all turn out to be superficial relationships. All your relationships lose their fizz and go nowhere. You feel like you're becoming a negative, cynical person from all the bouncing around you've done. Maybe you need to take a break from dating for a while. Here are some scenarios that just call for a dating hiatus. Do any of them fit your dating life?
- You just got a divorce. You're angry, bitter and hurt. You may even hate all women or all men. Does this sound like you are ready to be out dating? You need some time to resolve some issues on your own. The last thing you need is to be out with someone new who doesn't want to hear all the dirty details of your divorce. When enough time has gone by that you can view relationships objectively, won't be comparing anyone to your ex, and like yourself again consider it. In the meantime, how about joining a divorce support group?
- You broke up or were broken up with by a long-time partner and your still full of rage and hurt. If you still have the need to go out with friends to talk about how "all men are losers" and "all women are bitches" you aren't healed enough to date yet. Take a long break, heal, maybe get some counseling. When all your fires are fanned and your head is clear again and your heart is free to love again, maybe then you could consider dating again.
- You are grieving the loss of your partner due to death. You are more likely than the people in the first two scenarios to wait a while before trying a relationship with someone new. Just don't wait so long that the very idea becomes impossible. Get grief counseling. Talk to close friends about the loved one you lost. There's no timetable for grief, and you don't need to rush yourself back to someone else's idea of normalcy. When your healed enough to venture out, you'll know.
- You've been through a lot of relationships in a short period of time. You say you're fussy or particular. You just keep dating and dumping them. Or you're getting dumped all the time. What's happening that you are in all these bad relationships? Who needs this heartache? Until you've taken a vacation from dating and worked to figure out what is going wrong here, do yourself a favor and don't stick your neck out again. Something may be going on with you, and you may be the last person to know what it is. Consider counseling.
- You need to take a break from dating if you have serious financial baggage. Maybe you're a struggling single parent or maybe you are paying a lot of child support. Maybe you're just an unchecked shopaholic or maybe you recently lost your job. Regardless, that look of desperation is a turnoff in a dating relationship to those who think you are looking for a Sugar Mama or a Sugar Daddy to come to your rescue. You've got to many problems right now to concentrate on another person. Give dating a break for a while until things get better.
Need more signs? We've got 5 more for you