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How to Spot A Jerk

Ladies, and this article is for you women, because no matter our free-thinking the society in which we live, let's face it, a lot of jerks are men.  Not that women aren't a lot of other things that have some ugly terms.  

Example #1

He asks you a day ahead of time to have dinner Saturday night at 7 p.m.   At 7:30  p.m. your walking backing and forth because you know this guy.  At 8:00 p.m. he hasn't so much as text messaged.  At 9:30 p.m. he has the nerve to saunter up to your door and act as though that was the agreed upon time.  He seems to have totally forgotten about dinner.  Now he has a couple of Rocky Balboa videos about  muscle guys he wants to bore you with on a no-expense date.  And, girl, you let that bad boy in the door!

Example #2

Want another example?  Okay.  Your sister is getting married (for the first  time) and it's a really big deal in the family.  You ask your boyfriend if he will go with you to the wedding and it turns into an argument because he'll have to miss his favorite sports game. You hesitated to ask your boyfriend to be your date at the wedding on account of what a big day it is for your sister,  all your relatives being there,  and what a capital J Jerk he is. 

Then you realized if you didn't bring him everyone would make a thing of it, and  treat you like a relationship failure again. So you're stuck with him.  You have begged him not to be late picking you up, and threatened to never have sex with him again in this lifetime if he lets you down.  The wedding is at 2:00 p.m.  It's now 1:40 p.m.  The church is close.  Lo and behold, he pulls up and he is almost presentable if you overlook his wrinkled shirt, filthy fingernails and unpolished shoes.  You're ashamed of yourself for feeling almost grateful.

You get to the reception and you haven't even said hello to a single person yet, and he's walking toward you with a whole tray of drinks he got some bartender to give him.  Open bar means everything to this booze hound.  By the time the happy couple get to their reception he has pulled out his shirt waistband, and taken off his clip-on tie and his shoes.  His face is  bright red and he is slurring.  He proceeds to spend the entire evening, what he sees of it, drinking himself into a totally drunken stupor until he passes out with his nose in his mashed potatoes.   A kind uncle of yours offers to drive him home. 

Example #3

Last call?  Or will you be around for further humiliation?   Yes, you didn't  know he was a jerk when you let him pick you up at the local bar, but what's you're excuse for continuing to let him wreck your life? 

Do you hold on to him because he proposed three weeks after he met you?  Here's a tip:  Jerks have shallow emotions.  That's how he was able to overwhelm you with all those fantastic true love commitments two weeks after meeting you,  when he couldn't possible have known anything about who you really were.  It just doesn't add up.  Healthy, normal people need a long process to invest in a relationship because there is a lot at stake.  But don't worry.  It is because he is so shallow that he will be able to easily detach from you as fast as he committed, despite all the suicide threats when you try to dump him.  And you must dump him for your own health and happiness, because no matter what he has tried to convince you, he doesn't really love you more than any other man ever will.  P.S.,  you definitely will find a better man in the future.  You will not spend the rest of your life alone.  Let go of this jerk now and just be happy you will now have a better idea in the future of how to spot one.

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