Leaving an abuser Leaving an abuser can be a very hard thing to do. Most abusive relationships don't start out violent, so it's easy to find yourself in love with someone who can hurt you, or possibly kill you. Most relationships start out with each other being on their best behavior, but as time goes by, that abusive person will start showing signs of being an abuser. Some people think they can change the abuser and make them into a better person. Allot of people think that if they are caught trying to leave, their abuser may try to kill them. Whatever the reason or motive, you need to get out of that relationship as soon as possible. The ultimate decision to leave an abusive relationship comes down to you. Before leaving, make out a plan of what your going to do next. Don't just leave without a plan, because you might have to go back to your abuser if you have no where to go. Take important documents with you, you can't leave without your social security cards and other important forms of identification. You should take these documents and place them somewhere close to your house. Whatever you do, stand your ground, when you say your going to leave, do it. Actions speak louder than words. Also, don't stay because they tell you that they will change, the only thing their doing is manipulating you. Don't let them find a weakness in you, because they will use it against you. The most dangerous time for a women is when she leaves her abuser. When you leave your abuser, either find a relative or friend to come and pick you up. If you can't find anybody, contact a domestic violence shelter. Most people think that if they leave their abuser, they will lose everything, your house, car, and your kids. But staying in the abusive relationship is not the answer. You can get legal help if you fear you may lose your kids or your person ell possessions. In most abusive relationships, the one that's getting abused often tries to hide it from the outside world. The person who's getting abused may feel like if people found out what was happening, they will be judged the wrong way. But talking to someone you trust about the situation will take the pressure and stress away, and makes things a whole lot easier for you to deal with because at least you know you can go to someone and talk to. Domestic violence effects not only the victim, but everybody around them. When caring for a loved one, make sure that instead of being the one who rescues them from their troubles, be the one who provides the emotional support that the abused needs. Remember that when you provide support, make sure you don't criticize them, or make harsh comments about them. Create an environment that the abused feels safe and comfortable.
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