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Intimacy Without Intercourse
by Kim Hess
Here are few tips to have great intimacy without intercourse.
- Make out like teenagers – Try to go back to the times when you first met each other and re-ignite the flame of your first kiss. Making out, especially if it is in a car or an unusual place (basement, garage, wine cellar, shower, behind a building) can add a delicious layer of excitement to your relationship.
- Be physically close – Being physically close is a very important way to keep intimacy channels open when there’s no sex. Other ways to be physically close: Cuddle on the couch while watching a movie, hold hands while walking, kiss each other goodnight right before you fall asleep, read a book together.
- Practice Sensate focus exercises – Sensate focus exercises are a series of specific exercises for couples. These exercises encourage each partner to take turns paying increased attention to their own senses. The goal is to explore each other’s sensual pleasures. Explore your partner's body from head to toe, first the back then the front. When exploring your partner’s body, avoid the genital area. Having trouble thinking of ways to explore your partner’s body? Use of a feather to touch different parts of their body. Apply lotion to their skin, massage a part of their body that you usually don’t touch.
- Communicate – Communication through touch and talk can bring you closer together. Talk to your partner about trying different forms of intimacy. If you would love your partner to sing to you or read to you, let them know. If you have a fantasy that you want to try out, talk with your partner about it. Ask your partner how you can fulfill their fantasies. Talk to your partner about what stimulates you.
- Sensual Massage – Give each other a sensual massage. If you are unsure about how to give a massage, buy an instructional video. Massages are very therapeutic and can help you set the mood for an enjoyable sexual experience. Choose a massage technique that you can easily do and master it before applying it to your partner. You can also create your own massage technique by combining techniques that you think your partner will enjoy.
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