You have taken the first step by admitting you are an abuser. Now, you have to take full responsibility for your actions. You also have to admit that the abuse you inflict on your partner is by choice and that is wrong. Many abusers have no problem apologizing to their victim, yet they do not follow up and take the necessary steps to change. These steps can only be learned by enrolling into a program for abusers.

How to find an abuser rehabilitation program?

You can locate an abuser program through the Yellow Pages in your town or city. You can also locate a program via the Internet. You can also contact your local human services, hospital or health department for a list of available programs in your area.

What should I look for in a good abuser program?

If you have been brought before a judge for domestic violence, you may have no choice about which program you are enrolled in. However, if you are seeking help on your own, here are some guidelines to help you understand what will take place in a good abuser program.

  • The program will generally insist on contacting your victim. You should be willing to let your partner speak with the staff to give a complete and accurate history of the abuse that he or she has received by you.
  • The staff will not encourage you to reconcile or go into couples counseling. Their goal is not to bring your relationship back together. Their goal is to teach you how to control your emotions and anger.
  • The staff understands that abusive behaviors are generally ingrained into your personality and they will teach you new ways of coping with your feelings.

Please be aware that the Abuser Program does not guarantee that your relationship can be rebuilt. The only way an Abuser Program can truly work for you is if you enroll because you want to change and not as a form of manipulation to get your partner back.

Taking an anger management class may not be enough to get you the help you need. Many times domestic violence is not a result of just anger issues. Domestic violence problems usually stems from the abusers need to control and dominate, as well as anger. That is why enrolling in an Abuser Program is necessary.