If you are in a new relationship, you may be wondering how you can tell if you are with someone who has the potential to be an abuser. Here is a list of warning signs which may help you identify if your new partner may be an abuser.

  • He or she professes his or her undying love to you very soon in the relationship and comes across as genuinely warm and charming.
  • He or she is overly suspicious and jealous of you and your activities.
  • He or she may try to control your life.
    • This may include trying to control where you go, who you see, what money you spend, what you wear, where you work and more.
  • He or she may show a general lack of respect and a strong disliking to authority figures.
    • This may be law officials, on the job managers, parents, clergy and more.
  • He or she may exhibit a dual personality.
    • One part of him or her is sweet, charming and youthful. The other part of him or her is angry, authoritative, and/or aggressively violent.
  • He or she has hit, shoved, pinched, kicked or hurt you in the past.
  • He or she has battered a former spouse or romantic interest.
  • He or she is threatened by any successes you may have in your life, separate from him or her.
  • Alcohol or drugs seem to aggravate his or her violent tendencies.
  • He or she may somehow find a way to blame you for any disappointments that he or she may have.
  • He or she may want to use sex as a way of making up after an explosive or violent outburst.
  • He or she will put you down and try to embarrass you in public and/or private.
  • He or she may experience road rage very frequently.
  • He or she is very competitive and is a very sore loser.
  • His or her word comes to mean nothing.
  • He or she will try to isolate you from your family and friends.
  • He or she may roughhouse on occasion, but you notice that he or she is getting more rough.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, help is available. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. They will direct you to safe places in your area where you can seek help.