birth mother

One of the decisions that adoptive parents must consider is whether or not to choose the birth mother. This is often an option for some whereas others utilize an adoption agency where the birth mother is given the responsibility of choosing the adoptive family. It is important for the adoptive parents to determine whether or not they wish to select the birth mother prior to starting the adoption process so that they may establish contact with the proper agency or attorney who can help them.

Why choose the birth mother?

There are few reasons why one may want to select the birth mother of the child that they are going to adopt. By selecting the birth mother, the adoptive parents will be able to determine the ethnic background of their future adoptive child which may be an issue for some adoptive parents. Also, by selecting a birth mother, the adoptive parents are more likely to receive their adopted child when the child is a newborn. Lastly, when adoptive parents are given the option of selecting the birth mother, they will be more likely to review the medical history and background of the birth mother ahead of time which will ultimately tell a lot about the child with regard to these factors.

If you decide to select the birth mother, your adoption agency will guide you through the steps of adoption, assisting you in the decision of what you want in a birth mother.

Questions to ask the birth mother

If you decide to choose a birth mother, there are a few questions which adoptive parents may wish to ask. The first relates to the father of the child. It is important to determine certain factors about the father so that the adoptive parents can know even more about their future child as well as to determine if he will pose a problem with regard to the adoption procedure.

It is also a important to ask the birth mother about her background so that one day the adoptive parents will be able to share this information with the child should they wish to do so. Information such as heritage, medical, education, residency and any other interesting facts which may be of interest to the child down the road are all good topics to broach with the birth mother. This also may make the birth mother feel good simply in knowing that the adoptive parents are taking an interest in her background and wish to pass the information along to the child.

Lastly, the adoptive parents may want to ask the birth mother if she wants them to be present during the birth of the child.