mr-right-now

He doesn’t ask much of you, yet he’s always there for you and he’s a good, reliable option for movie night. But you don’t see yourself handing over the keys to your apartment. This is Mr Right Now.

Distinguishing between Mr Right and Mr Right Now is not always easy. Take Grant, for instance, easy to be with and easy on the eye, the guy was in his early thirties (five years my junior, if that makes any difference), and his biggest commitment in life was to Thursday poker night with his pals. My world of car pools, deadlines and fortieth birthday parties was like another planet to him, yet he listened with an attentive ear to my woes, he filled, with attentive care, my glass and he stroked, with an attentive hand, my ego. In his company, I was granted a temporary escape from my complicated life of responsibilities and obligations, yet it wasn’t real life and he was no long-term keeper. He was Mr Right Now.

With reluctance I broke off the farce– we were playing a game, I told him, and it would be far better to retain the friendship than be left with nothing at all. He seemed to understand, but did try his luck by asking if we could continue to be Saturday-night sex buddies.

While I’m not saying it’s not impossible for Mr Right Now to morph into Mr Right, you’ve got to want it to happen (and you’ve got to stop wondering about the guys you’re missing out on by being with him). And, if you can’t picture yourself handing over your apartment keys, then nip it in the bud is my advice. For one thing, this is a guy who will contribute far more to your life as a good friend, and, for another, time spent with Mr Right Now is time not spent with Mr Right.