Divorce_friends_with_ex_MamasHealth

After ending a marriage, you might be geared up and ready to start another relationship, in hopes to end the pain and disappointment caused by the last one. Before you jump into a new relationship, you must heal old wounds by learning how to forgive your ex, as well as yourself.

Don’t let anger linger

You will not only be working towards forgiving your ex, but healing yourself.

Forgive the failure

Keeping the blame on yourself or your former spouse will not bring back your marriage or give you a happy life. Let go of the negative energy and move on.

Give up the guilt

It is possible that you said and did things to your ex that you now regret. Realize that you cannot change the past. Apologize to your ex if it will make you feel better. Then forgive yourself and move on.

No reason to fight

Remember that there is no reason to hold grudges. You both have separate homes and lead separate lives. Leading two different lives should keep conflict between you two at a minimum.

Good qualities

Try to appreciate the good in your ex and that will help the process of forgiveness.Although you are making a commitment to forgive, you are not giving up what you believe is right. You are not saying the bad things that happened to you don’t matter or that you will forget. You are saying that you want to move on to a better and richer life. Remember that it takes a willingness to want to heal. By moving through the emotional pain of divorce and forgiveness, you hold the power to be happy and fulfilled.

From Ex-spouse to friend, reinventing relationships after divorce

After the tiring and strenuous process of divorce is completed, most people cannot imagine being friends with the person they used to call their husband or wife.  Divorce can be an ugly battle, leaving one or both parties angry, bitter, and unhappy with their former spouse.  It may seem that this will be your future but rest assured, it does not have to remain this way.  With work and effort you can be friendly with your ex.  This will make you, your ex, and those around you happier and less stressful.

Let go 

Release any anger and bitter feelings you have towards your ex.  Accept the way things happened and the way things are.  It is counterproductive to keep blaming an ex.  Also, it is important that you take responsibility for your part in the divorce.

Time 

Give it some time before you try to make amends and become friends.  Time and space are needed for anger and resentment to calm down, or go away before communications between the two of you can begin. 

Past is past 

It might be difficult to not think of you and your spouse as a married couple.  However, once you can do this, it will be easier to approach your spouse on friendly terms.  Remember that what is in the past should stay there.  Work towards a better, friendlier future.

Concentrate on the good 

What attracted you to your former spouse in the first place?  Was it their humor, ambition, or friendliness?  Think about their good qualities and focus on what you two have in common.

No love life talk 

It is not necessary for you to ask questions or speak of your ex’s love interest or dating life.  It is fine to know and accept that there may be someone romantically in your ex’s life, but it is best not to dwell on it.  Also, there is no need for your ex to know details about your love life.Reinventing a new, friendlier relationship from one that has died is not for everyone, but it is possible.  Understanding hopes, disappointments, and desires for the future is a great beginning to a new, and better, relationship for former spouses.