Divorce_conflict

Divorce can be one of the most traumatizing life events to go through. Now add in kids that the two of you share and it becomes a whole new level of emotionally trying and draining. Adults will be trying to work through their own feelings, but for kids it can be just as confusing, sad, and stressful. Finding ways for you and your ex-partner to co-parent in a healthy manner isn’t just better for the two of you, but better for the entire family. 

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Unsure of where you can get started when it comes to co-parenting? Here are some tips that can help you to navigate the waters.

Enlist the Help of a Professional

One of the best tips to offer couples who are trying to co-parent is to enlist the help of a professional therapist. Look for those who specialize in co-parenting services so that you know they will fit with your expectations and needs. Having a therapist to guide you through the process gives the two of you that unbiased peacemaker. The therapist will offer a number of useful tips, techniques, and insight into co-parenting.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

As co-parents, you should be able to contact each other whenever needed, as issues can arise with the kids at any time. Of course, you don’t want to take advantage of the open lines of communication, as discussions need to be about the kids. 

In terms of getting messages to one another, make sure you do that one-on-one rather than sending messages through the kids.

Approach Big Decisions as a Team

When co-parenting, it’s important to approach any big decision regarding the kids as a team. You want to work together rather than coming to your own conclusions separately. That doesn’t mean you will always agree, but it does mean you will go through the decision-making process together, weighing all the pros and cons as a team. This means you will need to practice give and take, as well as compromise.

Don’t Bad Mouth Each Other in Front of the Kids

As discussed, co-parents are a team, which also means the team sticks together. You never want to bad-mouth your ex in front of the kids. They need to see the two of you as a strong and united front, not two people at each other’s throats. 

If you’re going through a tough time with your ex, that’s what your own support system is for – not the kids.

Ensure Drop-Offs Go Smoothly

When picking up or dropping off the kids, keep things quick, simple, and cordial. That means saying hello and goodbye to one another so that the kids feel safe and secure. 

It’s a Process

Learning how to co-parent with your ex isn’t going to be an overnight success. There will be times that it proves to be quite challenging and you may even take a couple of steps back. Just keep your goal in mind, and that is to make life as stress-free and smooth for all involved.