divorce_conflict_tips_mamashealth

You have decided that it is time for your marriage to end. One of the next steps is to tell those you care about and interact with that you and your spouse are getting divorced.  The following tips will help you and others involved handle the news the best way possible.

How to tell others you are getting a divorce

Practice talking about divorce

Knowing what you’ll say and how you will say it is a good idea.  Remember, when telling others your decision to divorce, do it calmly and respectfully.  This is not the time for accusations and fault-finding.  Don’t make it a long rambling speech. Get to the point.  This will help relieve the anxiety for all involved.  Be sure to tell the people you are closest with first.

Announce your divorce together or apart?

If you can’t stand to be in the same room with your soon-to-be ex, telling people together is not a good idea. A fight is likely to occur, which will make everyone uncomfortable or upset.  If you two are still amicable, it may be better if you both could sit down and tell friends and family. Festive gatherings are not the time to break the news. If you do so at a festive gathering, you might ruin a good time for you and those you tell.

Limit the details about your divorce

Decide how much information is appropriate.  You may want to express to your mother that infidelity or an addiction played a significant part in the decision to divorce.  This may not be best to tell your co-workers or your child’s school teacher.  If you want to reveal no details, that is your choice, and you should not be pushed into providing additional information.

Responding to reactions to your divorce news

Expect reactions to vary depending on the relationship the people you are telling have with your spouse.  If you tell your loved ones who never liked him or her in the first place, you can probably expect joy. If they have a great relationship with your spouse, expect surprise and disappointment.  In time, most people will offer you
support once the initial shock has worn off.

Telling friends and family will be awkward and sometimes painful. Once the news is disclosed, it is time to concentrate on getting through the divorce in a way that is the most productive and healthy for you.